One day, when my brother was 18, he waltzed into the living room and proudly announced to my mother and me that ane day he was going to be a senator. My mom probably gave him the "That'due south prissy, honey," treatment while I'm sure I was distracted by a bowl of Cheerios or something.

But for fifteen years, this purpose informed all of my brother's life decisions: what he studied in school, where he chose to live, who he connected with, and even what he did with many of his vacations and weekends.

Subsequently nigh half a lifetime of work afterwards, he's the chairman of a major political party and a judge. He also ran for state congress in his 30s and barely lost.

Don't go me wrong. My brother is a freak. This basically never happens.

Near of u.s. take no inkling what nosotros want to exercise with our lives. Fifty-fifty later we stop school. Fifty-fifty subsequently we get a job. Even after we're making coin. Betwixt ages 18 and 25, I inverse career aspirations more often than I changed my underwear. And fifty-fifty subsequently I had a business, it took some other iv years to clearly define what I wanted for my life.

Chances are you're more like me and have no clue what y'all want to do. It's a struggle almost every adult goes through. "What do I want to do with my life?" "What am I passionate about?" "What do I not suck at?" I often receive emails from people in their 40s and 50s who however take no inkling what they want to exercise with themselves.

Part of the problem is the concept of "life purpose" itself. The idea that we were each born for some higher purpose and it's now our catholic mission to observe it. This is the aforementioned kind of shitty logic used to justify things like spirit crystals or that your lucky number is 34 (but merely on Tuesdays or during full moons).

Here's the truth. We be on this earth for some undetermined period of time. During that time nosotros do things. Some of these things are important. Some of them are unimportant. And those important things requite our lives meaning and happiness. The unimportant ones basically just kill time.

So when people say, "What should I do with my life?" or "What is my life purpose?" what they're actually asking is:

This is an infinitely better question to enquire. It'due south far more manageable and it doesn't have all of the ridiculous baggage that the "life purpose" question does. There's no reason for yous to exist contemplating the cosmic significance of your life while sitting on your couch all 24-hour interval eating Doritos. Rather, you should be getting off your ass and discovering what feels important to y'all.

One of the most common email questions I get is people request me what they should practise with their lives, what their "life purpose" is. This is an impossible question for me to respond. Afterward all, for all I know, this person is really into knitting sweaters for kittens or filming gay bondage porn in their basement. I have no inkling. Who am I to say what's correct or what's important to them?

But afterwards some research, I have put together a series of questions to assist you figure out for yourself what is important to you and what tin add more meaning to your life.

These questions are by no means exhaustive or definitive. In fact, they're a little chip ridiculous. But I made them that manner because discovering purpose in our lives should exist something that'south fun and interesting, not a chore.

So whether you're looking for your dream job, thinking about starting a second career, or you just don't desire to spend your entire life wondering "what if…", hopefully you lot find some meaningful answers to these ridiculous—but kind of thought-provoking—questions.

What's Your Favorite Flavor of Shit Sandwich and Does It Come up With an Olive?

What shit sandwich do you desire to eat? Because somewhen, we all get served one.

Ah, yes. The all-important question. What flavor of shit sandwich would y'all like to eat? Because here's the mucilaginous piddling truth about life that they don't tell y'all at high school pep rallies:

Everything sucks, some of the time.

Now, that probably sounds incredibly pessimistic. And you may be thinking, "Hey Mr. Manson, turn that frown upside downwards." But I actually recollect this is a liberating thought.

Everything involves cede. Everything includes some sort of price. Aught is pleasurable or uplifting all of the time. So, the question becomes: what struggle or sacrifice are you willing to tolerate? Ultimately, what determines our ability to stick with something we care about is our ability to handle the crude patches and ride out the inevitable rotten days.

If you want to exist a brilliant tech entrepreneur, but yous tin't handle failure, then you lot're not going to make it far. If you want to be a professional artist, merely you aren't willing to meet your work rejected hundreds, if not thousands of times, then y'all're washed before you start. If yous want to be a hotshot courtroom lawyer, but can't stand the 80-hr workweeks, then I've got bad news for you.

Finding your life purpose involves eating a shit sandwich or twoWhat unpleasant experiences are you able to handle? Are you able to stay up all night coding? Are you able to put off starting a family for 10 years? Are yous able to have people laugh y'all off the stage over and over once more until you lot get it correct?

What shit sandwich practice yous desire to eat? Because we all become served ane eventually.

And your favorite shit sandwich is your competitive advantage. By definition, anything that y'all're willing to do (that you savour doing) that virtually people are non willing to do gives you a huge leg-upwards.

So, discover your favorite shit sandwich. And you might as well option one with an olive.

The Answer to This Question Volition Tell You:

  • What struggles you are willing to tolerate to go what y'all want
  • What you will probable exist better than other people at

Something about the social pressures of adolescence and professional pressures of immature machismo squeezes the passion out of united states of america. We're taught that the only reason to do something is if we're somehow rewarded for information technology. And the transactional nature of the world inevitably stifles united states and makes us experience lost or stuck.

When I was a child, I used to write stories. I used to sit down in my room for hours past myself, writing away, virtually aliens, near superheroes, near great warriors, well-nigh my friends and family. Non because I wanted anyone to read it. Non because I wanted to print my parents or teachers. But for the sheer joy of it.

And and then, for some reason, I stopped. And I don't remember why.

Nosotros all have a tendency to lose touch with what nosotros loved as a kid. Something about the social pressures of adolescence and professional pressures of young adulthood squeezes the passion out of us. We're taught that the simply reason to practice something is if nosotros're somehow rewarded for it. And the transactional nature of the world inevitably stifles united states and makes us feel lost or stuck.

It wasn't until I was in my mid-20s that I rediscovered how much I loved writing. And it wasn't until I started my business concern that I remembered how much I enjoyed building websites—something I did in my early on teens, merely for fun.

The funny thing though, is that if my eight-year-old self asked my twenty-yr-old self, "Why don't you write anymore?" and I replied, "Because I'yard not good at it," or "Because nobody would read what I write," or "Because yous tin can't make money doing that," not simply would I accept been completely wrong, but that viii-yr-old-boy version of me would take probably started crying. That eight-year-old boy didn't intendance nigh Google traffic or social media virality or volume advances. He just wanted to play. And that's where passion ever begins: with a sense of play.

The Answer to This Question Will Tell You:

  • What childhood passion you lost to machismo
  • What activeness you lot should revisit, just for the fun of information technology

Expect at the activities that keep yous upward all nighttime, but await at the cognitive principles behind those activities that enthrall you. Because they tin hands be applied elsewhere.

We've all had that experience where nosotros get and so wrapped upwards in something that minutes turn into hours and hours plow into "Holy crap, I forgot to have dinner."

Supposedly, in his prime, Isaac Newton's mother had to regularly come in and remind him to eat because he would spend entire days then absorbed in his work that he would forget.

I used to be like that with video games. This probably wasn't a skilful thing. In fact, for many years it was kind of a trouble. I would sit down and play video games instead of doing more of import things similar studying for an exam, or showering regularly, or speaking to other humans face-to-face.

It wasn't until I gave upward the games that I realized my passion wasn't for the games themselves (although I do love them). My passion is for comeback, being expert at something and and then trying to go amend. The games themselves—the graphics, the stories—they were cool, only I tin easily alive without them. Information technology's the competition with others and with myself that I thrive on.

And when I applied that obsessiveness for self-improvement and competition to my own business organisation and to my writing, well, things took off in a big way.

Maybe for you, information technology's something else. Maybe it's organizing things efficiently, or getting lost in a fantasy earth, or teaching somebody something, or solving technical problems. Any it is, don't just await at the activities that keep you lot up all night, but wait at the cerebral principles behind those activities that enthrall y'all. Because they can easily be applied elsewhere.

The Answer to This Question Will Tell You:

  • What you truly savor doing
  • What other activities to check out that you might also bask

Embrace embarrassment. Feeling foolish is part of the path to achieving something important, something meaningful. The more a major life decision scares you lot, chances are the more you need to be doing it.

Before you are able to exist practiced at something and do something of import, y'all must start suck at something and have no inkling what you're doing. That's pretty obvious. And in order to suck at something and take no inkling what y'all're doing, you must embarrass yourself in some shape or form, often repeatedly. And about people try to avert embarrassing themselves, namely because it sucks.

Ergo, due to the transitive holding of awesomeness, if you avoid annihilation that could potentially embarrass you, and so you volition never end up doing something that feels important.

Yes, information technology seems that over again, it all comes back to vulnerability.

Right now, there's something you desire to exercise, something y'all think nigh doing, something you fantasize about doing, yet you don't exercise it. Y'all have your reasons, no uncertainty. And you echo these reasons to yourself ad infinitum.

Just what are those reasons? Considering I tin can tell you right now that if those reasons are based on what others would retrieve, then you're screwing yourself over big time.

If your reasons are something similar, "I can't showtime a business organisation because spending fourth dimension with my kids is more important to me," or "Playing Starcraft all day would probably interfere with my music, and music is more important to me," and then OK. Sounds good.

But if your reasons are, "My parents would hate it," or "My friends would make fun of me," or "If I failed, I'd look like an idiot," so chances are, you lot're really avoiding something yous truly care about because caring about that matter is what scares the shit out of you lot, not what mom thinks or what Timmy adjacent door says.

Great things are, by their very nature, unique and unconventional. Therefore, to attain them, we must go against the herd mentality. And to do that is scary.

Embrace embarrassment. Feeling foolish is role of the path to achieving something important, something meaningful. The more a major life decision scares you, chances are the more than yous need to be doing it.

The Answer to This Question Will Tell You:

  • What scares the shit out of yous… for good reason
  • That you should stop making lousy excuses and start doing something

You're not going to set up the world's bug by yourself. Only you can contribute and brand a difference. And that feeling of making a divergence is ultimately what'due south most important for your ain happiness and fulfillment.

In case you haven't seen the news lately, the world has a few problems. And by "a few problems," what I really hateful is, "everything is fucked and nosotros're all going to die."

I've harped on this before, and the research too bears it out, just to alive a happy and healthy life, nosotros must hold on to values that are greater than our own pleasance or satisfaction.i

And so choice a trouble and start saving the earth. In that location are plenty to choose from. Our screwed up education systems, economic development, domestic violence, mental wellness care, governmental abuse. Hell, I just saw an article this forenoon on sexual activity trafficking in the US and it got me all riled upwardly and wishing I could do something. Information technology also ruined my breakfast.

Find a problem you care about and start solving information technology. Obviously, you're not going to fix the world's bug past yourself. But you lot can contribute and make a divergence. And that feeling of making a divergence is ultimately what's most important for your own happiness and fulfillment. And importance equals purpose.

Now, I know what you're thinking. "Gee Mark, I read all of this horrible stuff and I go all pissed off also, just that doesn't translate to action, much less a new career path."

Glad you asked…

The Answer to This Question Will Tell You:

  • What problem you care about that's larger than yous
  • How yous can brand a difference

Discovering what you're passionate about in life and what matters to yous is a full-contact sport, a trial-past-fire process. None of united states of america know exactly how we feel nearly an activity until we actually do the activity.

For many of usa, the enemy is simply erstwhile-fashioned complacency. We go into our routines. We distract ourselves. The couch is comfortable. The Doritos are cheesy. And goose egg new happens.

This is a problem.

What most people don't understand is that passion is the outcome of action, not the cause of it. 2 , iii

Discovering what you're passionate nearly in life and what matters to yous is a full-contact sport, a trial-past-burn down process. None of us know exactly how we feel nigh an action until we really do the activity.

And then ask yourself, if someone put a gun to your caput and forced yous to leave your house every day for everything except for sleep, how would you choose to occupy yourself? And no, yous can't only go sit in a coffee shop and scan Facebook. You probably already do that. Let'due south pretend there are no useless websites, no video games, no Telly. Take yourself back to the 90's when Facebook, Instagram, all this social media clusterfuck most of us spend one-half our lives on had yet to be invented. You have to be outside of the house all day every 24-hour interval actively doing something until information technology'south time to become to bed—where would you lot go and what would y'all practise?

Sign up for a dance class? Join a volume club? Go get another degree? Invent a new grade of irrigation organisation that can save the thousands of children's lives in rural Africa? Learn to hang glide?

What would you lot exercise with all of that time? What action would yous choose above all others? We all take only 24 hours in a day, and so we're back to the all-important question that nosotros all should be asking ourselves:

If it strikes your fancy, write down a few answers and then, you lot know, become out and really do them. Bonus points if it involves embarrassing yourself.

The Answer to This Question Will Tell You:

  • What you were passionate about all forth
  • How you should spend your time

Ultimately, decease is the but affair that gives u.s.a. perspective on the value of our lives. Considering it'southward only by imagining your non-existence that you lot can get a sense of what is near important about your existence.

Well-nigh of us don't like thinking virtually death. It freaks us out. Merely thinking nearly our own death surprisingly has a lot of practical advantages. I of those advantages is that it forces usa to nix in on what's actually important in our lives and what's just frivolous and distracting.

When I was in college, I used to walk around and ask people, "If you had a year to live, what would you do?" As yous can imagine, I was a huge hit at parties. A lot of people gave vague and boring answers. A few drinks were well-nigh spat on me. But it did cause people to really retrieve about their lives in a different way and re-evaluate what their priorities were.

Ultimately, death is the simply thing that gives usa perspective on the value of our lives. Because it's but by imagining your non-being that you tin can get a sense of what is most important most your existence. What is your legacy going to be? What are the stories people are going to tell when you lot're gone? What is your obituary going to say? Is there annihilation to say at all? If not, what would you lot like it to say? How can yous start working towards that today?

And once again, if you daydream about your obituary saying a bunch of badass shit that impresses a bunch of random other people, then over again, you're failing here.

When people feel like they have no sense of direction, no purpose in their life, information technology's considering they don't know what's of import to them, they don't know what their values are.

And when you don't know what your values are, then yous're essentially taking on other people's values and living other people's priorities instead of your ain. This is a one-manner ticket to unhealthy relationships and eventual misery.

Discovering one'southward "purpose" in life essentially boils down to finding those one or two things that are bigger than yourself, and bigger than those around you, values that will decide your priorities and guide your deportment. It'due south non nearly some great achievement, merely merely finding a way to spend your limited corporeality of time well. And to practise that you must get off your couch and act, and take the fourth dimension to think beyond yourself, to think greater than yourself, and paradoxically, to imagine a world without yourself.

The Answer to This Question Will Tell You lot:

  • What is most important to you
  • What values should guide your actions

Ready to discover your purpose in life?

If y'all enjoyed this and you lot're ready to get your shit together, check out my class, Find Your Life Purpose . Nosotros'll go deep to effigy out what really drives you. Then you'll come upwards with a step-past-stride plan to get off your donkey and start going after what you want in life.

It'due south part of The Subtle Art School, a collection of courses and tons of other content that teach you to give less of a fuck and alive a fuller, more meaningful life.